( it sits like a rock in his stomach the way koga crouches down and prods at the being as though it were fallen game; it worries him on koga's behalf—simply being unconscious does not rule out all forms of infection, nor threats they aren't yet aware of as outsiders—and it seems unright to do. this was not a sick animal, or a pest— but someone infected, torn from their right mind.
rei's is aware his struggle with his own condition back home might pale white in comparison to the trouble monsters faced here, but he felt a familiar discomfort seeing how easily monsters were othered here— and it troubles him, too, how ignorantly koga proceeds. perhaps he simply needed his attention drawn to the issue, is all. )
I'm not so fragile that I need to be herded to safety as though a lost lamb, nor are you in any position to shepherd; you are just as susceptible as I. You're only human, after all.
( ... he kneels down beside koga, more permanent than koga's crouch, halfway in indecision. he lets his eyes fall along their strange scales, and their form, nearly human, but not quite, something disconcerting about how it all looks up close. he disagrees with the idea of just leaving them here; they could wake up and cause trouble again, or something worse could run into them first. )
Come back with me to the city. I'm here due to clerical error, but you have no excuse for your recklessness. Puppies are only darling running off from their owners at a certain age— but you are far too old to be tearing from your leash into the woods. A temper and a need to vent does not make you any better equipped than me to take on this infection— I won't be pleased to have to pick up your limp body from the pound.
( into the woods; the outer city; danger in general— koga might have scolded him in return, but rei returns it twice as harsh in tone, not at all pleased with how stupidly koga ran off, just an idol and a normal boy, to get himself infected. )
And since you knocked this one out, you'll carry them back. If you're going to be foolish, at least fulfill the obligations for which you signed up; you're not meant to leave them here for collecting, puppy. You ought to be old enough to follow directions, too.
[ it's as though a slow and sharp dagger is being pushed into his chest, and the pain gradually becomes to much to bear and too annoying to ignore. koga oogami is a stubborn boy, a flaw more than a strength; his mind filters what he wishes to hear, and immediately fights off anything that sets it off. he's being scolded, again. for what reason he knows not, nor does he try to understand. but rei's using a tone with him that doesn't bring pleasant feelings to surface. much the opposite, there's something far too uncomfortable rising in his stomach.
he's angry. - no, koga wonders if he's angry. it's a delicate situation, one idols like them shouldn't ever experience. they're responsible for something other than maintaining their body and improving their unit. they're adults more than they're high-schoolers, and koga hasn't matured enough for this. there's a click of his tongue - loud, angry - to shoo away those uncomfortable feelings, that annoying fear, and he stands up again, away from the monster, away from whatever it is that is trying to catch up to him. if only this damn guy hadn't showed up to worsen his temper. ]
You treatin' me like a damn kid again, ya bastard! You wanna die?! Why the hell do I hafta be responsible for this damn thing? Bring it to the city yourself if ya care so damn much. I don't give a damn.
[ ah, but through such a rough speech and short-temper, there's still kindness under those protective layers. had this been approached in any other way, he would have complied. it'd have been easy, perhaps too much so, to convince koga oogami to do his proper work, to bring to safety a being he does not relate to, does not wish to relate to, a being much unlike him. but being scolded, being treated in ways that do nothing but make his mood much too sour; it's hardly the proper way to brush koga's fur. he's a spoiled dog, after all. ]
I don't get why the hell these people are so damn welcomin' of these monsters. [ monsters, without a capital, because it's more of an insult than an acknowledgment of their nature. ] Ain't these guys dangerous? The hell do I have to save them for? If ya worried 'bout it so much, then be my guest. Ya can probably relate more to it than me, anyways.
[ ah- because a monster and a 'vampire', but it's too distasteful a thing to say, and koga realizes it a second later. he has, after all, not said a single good thing about these monsters at all; to lump rei with them, it's as though he thinks of him the same as them. it couldn't be farther from the truth, and yet... he's stubborn, again. a flaw more than a strength, again. too proud to go back on his words, too dishonest with his own feelings to allow himself to admit his wrongdoings. ]
( rei had always found himself charmed by how children lived so bare of pretense. he had always sat so contemplative in the dark, bending his shape until he could hook around whoever might keep him, that the breeze of their honesty refreshed him in his brewing exhaustion. breeze takes away clouds, and brings with it sun; and he couldn't stand the sun, he was weak to it always, but he wanted to think he could take it, still, if it meant being with everybody else.
everybody needs a thing to strive for, even if it's not a thing that'll ever come true.
rei knows koga hadn't said it to be malicious, because he isn't the type to try and hurt. it's only the brusque honesty of a child, and it burns red onto his skin like the sun, marking him always as different.
a thing, koga calls them— "it." a damn thing, a danger, a not-worth-saving. he wonders if this has been a long-standing thought on koga's part, or if it's new. a slip of the tongue, perhaps, but had it really not come from anywhere? it's true he's no longer the rei koga had once idolized; it's true koga's always irate with him. none of the other students had meant harm, either, when they realized rei wasn't the sort of god they'd expected. )
... That's true. ( he concedes finally, without any struggle, his tone cooling. ) I'm still a monster, in the end.
( and rei had paraded it around, hadn't he? no more getting close to humans even if he learned to stand in the sun, because it'd be short-lived, anyway— just a year left to play. to a human it's plenty, but to an immortal vampire like rei, it's nothing; it's no loss, to lose a year. that koga had taken rei's persona to heart is not something that should be surprising. he just hadn't expected it to sting the way it does, because he hadn't thought he'd gotten this attached to the kid who used to follow him around like a little lost pup. )
We'll talk about this later, puppy. ( he continues, referring to, hm, a Variety of things, ) If not for the length of their tail, I'd find some way to carry them, however . . .
( even if he tried with all his strength, dragging them seemed both inconvenient and inefficient. what if it woke them up, for one? mmm . . . )
. . . I'll remain here and look after them. I'd like if you could return to camp and fetch assistance that can help carry them back. I may not be able to defend myself from danger, but I'll attempt to be decent at hiding. Do you understand? Be quick.
( . . . he's hoping this is not, in fact, an agreeable arrangement in the slightest for koga, and that the kinder side of koga might protest and concede to help despite his opinion on this "thing." though... he supposes, if koga really does consider rei the same sort of creature as this, and these creatures nuisances, perhaps he really might storm off in irritation. this is as much a way to coerce koga into helping him as it is a means to gauge where koga's opinion of him lies. )
it takes that easy voice, without any struggle, without any wish to argue back, embracing with acceptance those foolish words of his that yes, rei sakuma is a monster, has always been one, will die one. it couldn't be the farthest thing from the truth, hard and cold and lonely, because so often it feels like koga oogami is the only one who can see it, who still sees it. sometimes it feels like the past year has never happened, the rei sakuma he knew once upon a time is only a figment of his imagination and all the people that knew of him and knew him have forgotten all about that man, great and handsome and enchanting, a man who would so easily steal the audience's breath away with his voice and guitar and skills. it's as though that rei sakuma has never existed, and yumenosaki academy has accepted the vampire, the monster into their lairs without a question or a worry.
but not koga oogami, never koga oogami.
he remained the only one to deny this person, this stranger, someone who wears the skin of a man he once loved above all and everything and pretends to be him, every and each day, over and over, and ever since koga has refused to ever address this anomaly by the name of the person who has always been human in his eyes. human, not a monster, not whatever this stranger thinks he is. whatever the world forced him to be.
koga oogami is a stubborn boy, sometimes more of a strength than a flaw. even if he has to fight the entire world, he'd carry the burden on his shoulders and wear the responsibility to make rei sakuma remember who he truly is.
human. human. ]
... That's not—
[ yet he has lost all credibility to argue back on this, has he not?
even koga himself knows, words that would fall flat no matter what opinions of his he attempts to defend. it's infuriating, as much as it's painful, as much as it stings in his chest and stirs in his stomach, that this here is naught but his fault, his mistake, something he'll have to live with and carry for however long it may be. something that will haunt him in the back of his mind every time he closes his eyes until he can put that proud, lone wolf façade to the side and say i'm sorry.
he grits his teeth in frustration, in opposition to rei's words, in the rebellion that seems to always go wherever he goes. what a foolish, idiotic idea. he clicks his tongue and searches within his pockets for a spare pair of gloves, thrown at rei without much of care for where it hits, his face or shoulder or leg or doesn't hit him at all.
(it'd be ironic, how it suddenly seems as though there's a distance between them that koga never wished for it to exist.) ]
... Shut up. I'm not leavin' you here all by yourself. You're too damn useless and would probably just end up dead the moment I walked away.
[ regret and guilt paint the tone of this wolf's voice, and weight heavy on the way he brings himself to the passed out monster's lower half, tail in between his legs. he will not apologize here, may not apologize until much later, but his demeanor spells it out with ease, a transparency that confesses to koga's dishonesty.
dogs can't speak, after all. they'll show their regret with soft whining, lower ears and, ah— a tail between their legs, isn't it? ]
I'll get the tail, you get the torso. We'll bring this one back to the city. A two-man job's easier on both of us, but ya sure you up to the task? It's gonna be a pain in the ass for me if you pass out too.
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no subject
Date: 2019-05-21 03:54 am (UTC)rei's is aware his struggle with his own condition back home might pale white in comparison to the trouble monsters faced here, but he felt a familiar discomfort seeing how easily monsters were othered here— and it troubles him, too, how ignorantly koga proceeds. perhaps he simply needed his attention drawn to the issue, is all. )
I'm not so fragile that I need to be herded to safety as though a lost lamb, nor are you in any position to shepherd; you are just as susceptible as I. You're only human, after all.
( ... he kneels down beside koga, more permanent than koga's crouch, halfway in indecision. he lets his eyes fall along their strange scales, and their form, nearly human, but not quite, something disconcerting about how it all looks up close. he disagrees with the idea of just leaving them here; they could wake up and cause trouble again, or something worse could run into them first. )
Come back with me to the city. I'm here due to clerical error, but you have no excuse for your recklessness. Puppies are only darling running off from their owners at a certain age— but you are far too old to be tearing from your leash into the woods. A temper and a need to vent does not make you any better equipped than me to take on this infection— I won't be pleased to have to pick up your limp body from the pound.
( into the woods; the outer city; danger in general— koga might have scolded him in return, but rei returns it twice as harsh in tone, not at all pleased with how stupidly koga ran off, just an idol and a normal boy, to get himself infected. )
And since you knocked this one out, you'll carry them back. If you're going to be foolish, at least fulfill the obligations for which you signed up; you're not meant to leave them here for collecting, puppy. You ought to be old enough to follow directions, too.
no subject
Date: 2019-05-26 05:25 pm (UTC)he's angry. - no, koga wonders if he's angry. it's a delicate situation, one idols like them shouldn't ever experience. they're responsible for something other than maintaining their body and improving their unit. they're adults more than they're high-schoolers, and koga hasn't matured enough for this. there's a click of his tongue - loud, angry - to shoo away those uncomfortable feelings, that annoying fear, and he stands up again, away from the monster, away from whatever it is that is trying to catch up to him. if only this damn guy hadn't showed up to worsen his temper. ]
You treatin' me like a damn kid again, ya bastard! You wanna die?! Why the hell do I hafta be responsible for this damn thing? Bring it to the city yourself if ya care so damn much. I don't give a damn.
[ ah, but through such a rough speech and short-temper, there's still kindness under those protective layers. had this been approached in any other way, he would have complied. it'd have been easy, perhaps too much so, to convince koga oogami to do his proper work, to bring to safety a being he does not relate to, does not wish to relate to, a being much unlike him. but being scolded, being treated in ways that do nothing but make his mood much too sour; it's hardly the proper way to brush koga's fur. he's a spoiled dog, after all. ]
I don't get why the hell these people are so damn welcomin' of these monsters. [ monsters, without a capital, because it's more of an insult than an acknowledgment of their nature. ] Ain't these guys dangerous? The hell do I have to save them for? If ya worried 'bout it so much, then be my guest. Ya can probably relate more to it than me, anyways.
[ ah- because a monster and a 'vampire', but it's too distasteful a thing to say, and koga realizes it a second later. he has, after all, not said a single good thing about these monsters at all; to lump rei with them, it's as though he thinks of him the same as them. it couldn't be farther from the truth, and yet... he's stubborn, again. a flaw more than a strength, again. too proud to go back on his words, too dishonest with his own feelings to allow himself to admit his wrongdoings. ]
no subject
Date: 2019-05-28 09:37 am (UTC)everybody needs a thing to strive for, even if it's not a thing that'll ever come true.
rei knows koga hadn't said it to be malicious, because he isn't the type to try and hurt. it's only the brusque honesty of a child, and it burns red onto his skin like the sun, marking him always as different.
a thing, koga calls them— "it." a damn thing, a danger, a not-worth-saving. he wonders if this has been a long-standing thought on koga's part, or if it's new. a slip of the tongue, perhaps, but had it really not come from anywhere? it's true he's no longer the rei koga had once idolized; it's true koga's always irate with him. none of the other students had meant harm, either, when they realized rei wasn't the sort of god they'd expected. )
... That's true. ( he concedes finally, without any struggle, his tone cooling. ) I'm still a monster, in the end.
( and rei had paraded it around, hadn't he? no more getting close to humans even if he learned to stand in the sun, because it'd be short-lived, anyway— just a year left to play. to a human it's plenty, but to an immortal vampire like rei, it's nothing; it's no loss, to lose a year. that koga had taken rei's persona to heart is not something that should be surprising. he just hadn't expected it to sting the way it does, because he hadn't thought he'd gotten this attached to the kid who used to follow him around like a little lost pup. )
We'll talk about this later, puppy. ( he continues, referring to, hm, a Variety of things, ) If not for the length of their tail, I'd find some way to carry them, however . . .
( even if he tried with all his strength, dragging them seemed both inconvenient and inefficient. what if it woke them up, for one? mmm . . . )
. . . I'll remain here and look after them. I'd like if you could return to camp and fetch assistance that can help carry them back. I may not be able to defend myself from danger, but I'll attempt to be decent at hiding. Do you understand? Be quick.
( . . . he's hoping this is not, in fact, an agreeable arrangement in the slightest for koga, and that the kinder side of koga might protest and concede to help despite his opinion on this "thing." though... he supposes, if koga really does consider rei the same sort of creature as this, and these creatures nuisances, perhaps he really might storm off in irritation. this is as much a way to coerce koga into helping him as it is a means to gauge where koga's opinion of him lies. )
no subject
Date: 2019-07-08 02:55 am (UTC)dammit.
it takes that easy voice, without any struggle, without any wish to argue back, embracing with acceptance those foolish words of his that yes, rei sakuma is a monster, has always been one, will die one. it couldn't be the farthest thing from the truth, hard and cold and lonely, because so often it feels like koga oogami is the only one who can see it, who still sees it. sometimes it feels like the past year has never happened, the rei sakuma he knew once upon a time is only a figment of his imagination and all the people that knew of him and knew him have forgotten all about that man, great and handsome and enchanting, a man who would so easily steal the audience's breath away with his voice and guitar and skills. it's as though that rei sakuma has never existed, and yumenosaki academy has accepted the vampire, the monster into their lairs without a question or a worry.
but not koga oogami, never koga oogami.
he remained the only one to deny this person, this stranger, someone who wears the skin of a man he once loved above all and everything and pretends to be him, every and each day, over and over, and ever since koga has refused to ever address this anomaly by the name of the person who has always been human in his eyes. human, not a monster, not whatever this stranger thinks he is. whatever the world forced him to be.
koga oogami is a stubborn boy, sometimes more of a strength than a flaw. even if he has to fight the entire world, he'd carry the burden on his shoulders and wear the responsibility to make rei sakuma remember who he truly is.
human. human. ]
... That's not—
[ yet he has lost all credibility to argue back on this, has he not?
even koga himself knows, words that would fall flat no matter what opinions of his he attempts to defend. it's infuriating, as much as it's painful, as much as it stings in his chest and stirs in his stomach, that this here is naught but his fault, his mistake, something he'll have to live with and carry for however long it may be. something that will haunt him in the back of his mind every time he closes his eyes until he can put that proud, lone wolf façade to the side and say i'm sorry.
he grits his teeth in frustration, in opposition to rei's words, in the rebellion that seems to always go wherever he goes. what a foolish, idiotic idea. he clicks his tongue and searches within his pockets for a spare pair of gloves, thrown at rei without much of care for where it hits, his face or shoulder or leg or doesn't hit him at all.
(it'd be ironic, how it suddenly seems as though there's a distance between them that koga never wished for it to exist.) ]
... Shut up. I'm not leavin' you here all by yourself. You're too damn useless and would probably just end up dead the moment I walked away.
[ regret and guilt paint the tone of this wolf's voice, and weight heavy on the way he brings himself to the passed out monster's lower half, tail in between his legs. he will not apologize here, may not apologize until much later, but his demeanor spells it out with ease, a transparency that confesses to koga's dishonesty.
dogs can't speak, after all. they'll show their regret with soft whining, lower ears and, ah— a tail between their legs, isn't it? ]
I'll get the tail, you get the torso. We'll bring this one back to the city. A two-man job's easier on both of us, but ya sure you up to the task? It's gonna be a pain in the ass for me if you pass out too.
[ ... ]
... You ain't sturdy like them, after all.
[ because rei sakuma is human, not a monster.
human. ]