( rei had always found himself charmed by how children lived so bare of pretense. he had always sat so contemplative in the dark, bending his shape until he could hook around whoever might keep him, that the breeze of their honesty refreshed him in his brewing exhaustion. breeze takes away clouds, and brings with it sun; and he couldn't stand the sun, he was weak to it always, but he wanted to think he could take it, still, if it meant being with everybody else.
everybody needs a thing to strive for, even if it's not a thing that'll ever come true.
rei knows koga hadn't said it to be malicious, because he isn't the type to try and hurt. it's only the brusque honesty of a child, and it burns red onto his skin like the sun, marking him always as different.
a thing, koga calls them— "it." a damn thing, a danger, a not-worth-saving. he wonders if this has been a long-standing thought on koga's part, or if it's new. a slip of the tongue, perhaps, but had it really not come from anywhere? it's true he's no longer the rei koga had once idolized; it's true koga's always irate with him. none of the other students had meant harm, either, when they realized rei wasn't the sort of god they'd expected. )
... That's true. ( he concedes finally, without any struggle, his tone cooling. ) I'm still a monster, in the end.
( and rei had paraded it around, hadn't he? no more getting close to humans even if he learned to stand in the sun, because it'd be short-lived, anyway— just a year left to play. to a human it's plenty, but to an immortal vampire like rei, it's nothing; it's no loss, to lose a year. that koga had taken rei's persona to heart is not something that should be surprising. he just hadn't expected it to sting the way it does, because he hadn't thought he'd gotten this attached to the kid who used to follow him around like a little lost pup. )
We'll talk about this later, puppy. ( he continues, referring to, hm, a Variety of things, ) If not for the length of their tail, I'd find some way to carry them, however . . .
( even if he tried with all his strength, dragging them seemed both inconvenient and inefficient. what if it woke them up, for one? mmm . . . )
. . . I'll remain here and look after them. I'd like if you could return to camp and fetch assistance that can help carry them back. I may not be able to defend myself from danger, but I'll attempt to be decent at hiding. Do you understand? Be quick.
( . . . he's hoping this is not, in fact, an agreeable arrangement in the slightest for koga, and that the kinder side of koga might protest and concede to help despite his opinion on this "thing." though... he supposes, if koga really does consider rei the same sort of creature as this, and these creatures nuisances, perhaps he really might storm off in irritation. this is as much a way to coerce koga into helping him as it is a means to gauge where koga's opinion of him lies. )
it takes that easy voice, without any struggle, without any wish to argue back, embracing with acceptance those foolish words of his that yes, rei sakuma is a monster, has always been one, will die one. it couldn't be the farthest thing from the truth, hard and cold and lonely, because so often it feels like koga oogami is the only one who can see it, who still sees it. sometimes it feels like the past year has never happened, the rei sakuma he knew once upon a time is only a figment of his imagination and all the people that knew of him and knew him have forgotten all about that man, great and handsome and enchanting, a man who would so easily steal the audience's breath away with his voice and guitar and skills. it's as though that rei sakuma has never existed, and yumenosaki academy has accepted the vampire, the monster into their lairs without a question or a worry.
but not koga oogami, never koga oogami.
he remained the only one to deny this person, this stranger, someone who wears the skin of a man he once loved above all and everything and pretends to be him, every and each day, over and over, and ever since koga has refused to ever address this anomaly by the name of the person who has always been human in his eyes. human, not a monster, not whatever this stranger thinks he is. whatever the world forced him to be.
koga oogami is a stubborn boy, sometimes more of a strength than a flaw. even if he has to fight the entire world, he'd carry the burden on his shoulders and wear the responsibility to make rei sakuma remember who he truly is.
human. human. ]
... That's not—
[ yet he has lost all credibility to argue back on this, has he not?
even koga himself knows, words that would fall flat no matter what opinions of his he attempts to defend. it's infuriating, as much as it's painful, as much as it stings in his chest and stirs in his stomach, that this here is naught but his fault, his mistake, something he'll have to live with and carry for however long it may be. something that will haunt him in the back of his mind every time he closes his eyes until he can put that proud, lone wolf façade to the side and say i'm sorry.
he grits his teeth in frustration, in opposition to rei's words, in the rebellion that seems to always go wherever he goes. what a foolish, idiotic idea. he clicks his tongue and searches within his pockets for a spare pair of gloves, thrown at rei without much of care for where it hits, his face or shoulder or leg or doesn't hit him at all.
(it'd be ironic, how it suddenly seems as though there's a distance between them that koga never wished for it to exist.) ]
... Shut up. I'm not leavin' you here all by yourself. You're too damn useless and would probably just end up dead the moment I walked away.
[ regret and guilt paint the tone of this wolf's voice, and weight heavy on the way he brings himself to the passed out monster's lower half, tail in between his legs. he will not apologize here, may not apologize until much later, but his demeanor spells it out with ease, a transparency that confesses to koga's dishonesty.
dogs can't speak, after all. they'll show their regret with soft whining, lower ears and, ah— a tail between their legs, isn't it? ]
I'll get the tail, you get the torso. We'll bring this one back to the city. A two-man job's easier on both of us, but ya sure you up to the task? It's gonna be a pain in the ass for me if you pass out too.
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no subject
Date: 2019-05-28 09:37 am (UTC)everybody needs a thing to strive for, even if it's not a thing that'll ever come true.
rei knows koga hadn't said it to be malicious, because he isn't the type to try and hurt. it's only the brusque honesty of a child, and it burns red onto his skin like the sun, marking him always as different.
a thing, koga calls them— "it." a damn thing, a danger, a not-worth-saving. he wonders if this has been a long-standing thought on koga's part, or if it's new. a slip of the tongue, perhaps, but had it really not come from anywhere? it's true he's no longer the rei koga had once idolized; it's true koga's always irate with him. none of the other students had meant harm, either, when they realized rei wasn't the sort of god they'd expected. )
... That's true. ( he concedes finally, without any struggle, his tone cooling. ) I'm still a monster, in the end.
( and rei had paraded it around, hadn't he? no more getting close to humans even if he learned to stand in the sun, because it'd be short-lived, anyway— just a year left to play. to a human it's plenty, but to an immortal vampire like rei, it's nothing; it's no loss, to lose a year. that koga had taken rei's persona to heart is not something that should be surprising. he just hadn't expected it to sting the way it does, because he hadn't thought he'd gotten this attached to the kid who used to follow him around like a little lost pup. )
We'll talk about this later, puppy. ( he continues, referring to, hm, a Variety of things, ) If not for the length of their tail, I'd find some way to carry them, however . . .
( even if he tried with all his strength, dragging them seemed both inconvenient and inefficient. what if it woke them up, for one? mmm . . . )
. . . I'll remain here and look after them. I'd like if you could return to camp and fetch assistance that can help carry them back. I may not be able to defend myself from danger, but I'll attempt to be decent at hiding. Do you understand? Be quick.
( . . . he's hoping this is not, in fact, an agreeable arrangement in the slightest for koga, and that the kinder side of koga might protest and concede to help despite his opinion on this "thing." though... he supposes, if koga really does consider rei the same sort of creature as this, and these creatures nuisances, perhaps he really might storm off in irritation. this is as much a way to coerce koga into helping him as it is a means to gauge where koga's opinion of him lies. )
no subject
Date: 2019-07-08 02:55 am (UTC)dammit.
it takes that easy voice, without any struggle, without any wish to argue back, embracing with acceptance those foolish words of his that yes, rei sakuma is a monster, has always been one, will die one. it couldn't be the farthest thing from the truth, hard and cold and lonely, because so often it feels like koga oogami is the only one who can see it, who still sees it. sometimes it feels like the past year has never happened, the rei sakuma he knew once upon a time is only a figment of his imagination and all the people that knew of him and knew him have forgotten all about that man, great and handsome and enchanting, a man who would so easily steal the audience's breath away with his voice and guitar and skills. it's as though that rei sakuma has never existed, and yumenosaki academy has accepted the vampire, the monster into their lairs without a question or a worry.
but not koga oogami, never koga oogami.
he remained the only one to deny this person, this stranger, someone who wears the skin of a man he once loved above all and everything and pretends to be him, every and each day, over and over, and ever since koga has refused to ever address this anomaly by the name of the person who has always been human in his eyes. human, not a monster, not whatever this stranger thinks he is. whatever the world forced him to be.
koga oogami is a stubborn boy, sometimes more of a strength than a flaw. even if he has to fight the entire world, he'd carry the burden on his shoulders and wear the responsibility to make rei sakuma remember who he truly is.
human. human. ]
... That's not—
[ yet he has lost all credibility to argue back on this, has he not?
even koga himself knows, words that would fall flat no matter what opinions of his he attempts to defend. it's infuriating, as much as it's painful, as much as it stings in his chest and stirs in his stomach, that this here is naught but his fault, his mistake, something he'll have to live with and carry for however long it may be. something that will haunt him in the back of his mind every time he closes his eyes until he can put that proud, lone wolf façade to the side and say i'm sorry.
he grits his teeth in frustration, in opposition to rei's words, in the rebellion that seems to always go wherever he goes. what a foolish, idiotic idea. he clicks his tongue and searches within his pockets for a spare pair of gloves, thrown at rei without much of care for where it hits, his face or shoulder or leg or doesn't hit him at all.
(it'd be ironic, how it suddenly seems as though there's a distance between them that koga never wished for it to exist.) ]
... Shut up. I'm not leavin' you here all by yourself. You're too damn useless and would probably just end up dead the moment I walked away.
[ regret and guilt paint the tone of this wolf's voice, and weight heavy on the way he brings himself to the passed out monster's lower half, tail in between his legs. he will not apologize here, may not apologize until much later, but his demeanor spells it out with ease, a transparency that confesses to koga's dishonesty.
dogs can't speak, after all. they'll show their regret with soft whining, lower ears and, ah— a tail between their legs, isn't it? ]
I'll get the tail, you get the torso. We'll bring this one back to the city. A two-man job's easier on both of us, but ya sure you up to the task? It's gonna be a pain in the ass for me if you pass out too.
[ ... ]
... You ain't sturdy like them, after all.
[ because rei sakuma is human, not a monster.
human. ]